Tuesday 24 November 2009

For a good time call 0871 222 3330 ;)

It's true that in Manchester you are never more than 5 feet away from a bus. This is because buses are bloody everywhere, to the point where they are allocated to individual people. And crossing the street has to be planned with military precision or a 'magic' bus will run you into the tarmac.

Good day!

It has been raining for forty days and forty nights in Manchester, and it's got to the point in the uear where you have the put on the room lights mid-afternoon. I'm sat poking at people via email asking if they would be so kind as to give me a damn job, while also stealing amazing gingerbread cookies bought from Ikea. Ah Ikea. It was yesterday when we dragged our sodden corpses to that massive blue splot and returned. Ikea is similar, or even interchangeable with the word Hell to me, there is something about the size of the store daunting over the landscape that terrifies me. And to have to follow a set route around the store gives the feel that you are not shopping, rather something more exciting, like visiting a zoo. But you are shopping, and with the set route system you are being dragged through seventeen hundred more metres than you wanted to walk.

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One of the most depressing sights I've ever witnessed was in Ikea. For the celebration of an invention of their 'billy' bookcase (30 years since it's conception) Ikea was throwing a special event to advertise this, and some bright spark had found a very interesting way to do this. You see Billy is also the name of William Shakespeare, and of course that means to advertise the Billy Bookcase it would be a great idea to get 3 fully grown men to dress up like William Shakespeare and do a performance. But unfortunately there are no stages in Ikea, however the whole world is but a stage, so they found these three men an alcove in Ikea where virtually no one stopped to watch their play. And then the fire alarm went off after a car caught fire outside the entrance. And on that day I saw three men dressed as Shakespeare stood in Ikea a dull car park shivering in tights.

And the days are so dull, today I got dazzled by the lights in the lift. I guess my eyes aren't used to the brightness. Roll on Spring.

Actually it isn't even Winter yet.

I'm hibernating.

Love Dougal X

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