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It's true that in Manchester you are never more than 5 feet away from a bus. This is because buses are bloody everywhere, to the point where they are allocated to individual people. And crossing the street has to be planned with military precision or a 'magic' bus will run you into the tarmac.

Good day!

It has been raining for forty days and forty nights in Manchester, and it's got to the point in the uear where you have the put on the room lights mid-afternoon. I'm sat poking at people via email asking if they would be so kind as to give me a damn job, while also stealing amazing gingerbread cookies bought from Ikea. Ah Ikea. It was yesterday when we dragged our sodden corpses to that massive blue splot and returned. Ikea is similar, or even interchangeable with the word Hell to me, there is something about the size of the store daunting over the landscape that terrifies me. And to have to follow a set route around the store gives the feel that you are not shopping, rather something more exciting, like visiting a zoo. But you are shopping, and with the set route system you are being dragged through seventeen hundred more metres than you wanted to walk.



One of the most depressing sights I've ever witnessed was in Ikea. For the celebration of an invention of their 'billy' bookcase (30 years since it's conception) Ikea was throwing a special event to advertise this, and some bright spark had found a very interesting way to do this. You see Billy is also the name of William Shakespeare, and of course that means to advertise the Billy Bookcase it would be a great idea to get 3 fully grown men to dress up like William Shakespeare and do a performance. But unfortunately there are no stages in Ikea, however the whole world is but a stage, so they found these three men an alcove in Ikea where virtually no one stopped to watch their play. And then the fire alarm went off after a car caught fire outside the entrance. And on that day I saw three men dressed as Shakespeare stood in Ikea a dull car park shivering in tights.

And the days are so dull, today I got dazzled by the lights in the lift. I guess my eyes aren't used to the brightness. Roll on Spring.

Actually it isn't even Winter yet.

I'm hibernating.

Love Dougal X

If only we could all be Martin Sheen

"If you're going through Hell, keep going!" said Churchill, probably on a day similar to today with the rain and the coldness biting his nips. And he was right, who'd want to visit Hell? However if you're going through Hull, it's alright to stop off at Princes Quay.

Good afternoon!

It has been a slow day, week and month, filled with more twists and turns then the plot of Midsummer Murders, but I cannot complain, as in this time I have had chance to master my technique of making Chai Tea Lattes. However I can never make them as good at they do at Sun Cafe. Never will, they've got powers beyond me. It's small things like this that make me miss Hull, things like the Adelphi Club and McCoys, and now I find myself in a city where I know no such spots and do not have the financial stability to go out every Monday with Tim Lee to drink and guitar it up in front of an unwitting audience.

Hull probably doesn't miss me, I kept kicking it.

I was thinking the other day about motto's after a bizarre job application required me to ask the question what is my motto and why? I'd really never paid any attention to this idea of my life having a phrase which restricts my actions, and I spent the week walking around dwelling on how I could have a motto for my life. I asked my dad, but his didn't seem to capture what I wanted. Apparently the Donnelly family motto is 'keep quiet and carry a big stick'. It was later on when I was sat in Red Chili when I thought of rules that I've held all my life.

'Always eat all the meat and never leave a pint'.

Scary face.

And finally I was wandering towards my weekly visit to Wasim, when I noticed a usual shitty nightclub poster covered in girls in bikinis. The tagline was 'let's get bungalowed'. We need to stop nouns becoming verbs and adjectives needlessly.

Love Dougal

XxxxX

Unemployment and the hive mind old women

Good day

Today has been a stressful but constructive day, and I shall type a more elaborated account rather then simply staring out of the window and describing what animals there are. Okay I'll quickly do that as well...

1 Magpie



That is all, so anyway now I've got R.E.M playing and the flat is warmed up and I can feel my hands again I will proceed. Today began with a blog about the animals outside my window, this was to avoid anything such as making breakfast or putting on socks. So with a wiggle and a scoot I was out in the cold of Manchester walking towards the curry mile to beg for a job. It was a definite mile and half walk and not a bus ride because every cold morning about 200 students fill the bus stop, pavements and roads waiting for a magic bus. The whole process of getting on a bus and takes as long as it does to walk into town, and with the added of someone sat on you.

So on arrival a nine I was welcomed by a queue of dolers. I felt awkward but it was the usual routine, stand like in the school yard and wait to be let in, except with the added note that the people at the front were drinking cans of Holsten Pils. I would have joined them but thought it was a bit early. My drinking threshold is ten o'clock.

But since this morning I have two interviews, so Woop! And then got top player on Team Fortress, and then Sonic did a hadouken, and the ink cartridges I got from Argos only took a minute to arrive.



But it was while I was buying ink cartridges in Argos when I noticed it at first, there were tell tail signs, then when I ran to dodge a tram I was certain, that old women have a hive mind. It started with tell tail signs such as old women talking to anyone as if they were close friends, but then I found other signs that most old women have similar tastes in clothes and perms. And then it hit me, they must share consciences and thoughts. What else could account for them referring to anyone as 'love' and having deep conversation before saying bye like they'll see you again tomorrow.

Definitely hive mind.

I would post a picture of the omelet I conjured the other day, but because I can't find the camera lead have Goole underwater instead.



Love Dougal

X

Things that were outside my window today

It's cold today as I haven't yet put on any heaters. So as I wander around my flat at an ungodly hour I shall inform you what was outside my window this morning, as well as pouring a bowl of cornflakes.

Outside my window was

• 1 gray squirrel

• Various magpies

• An orange cat

And now I'm going to bother Wasim and ask him for jobs. Fun times!

Dougal

X