REPENT!

Good evening .

Due to forseen circumstances I cannot write too much. It has been a long day and I feel the need to sprawl out on the sofa and convince myself that omelettes and scotch will make tomorrow any different. However I am living a lie. Tell it to the jury.

So I am alone in sexy flat as young norwegian has gone shopping in the huge mass that is commonly called 'the trafford centre' but is more commonly known by people from Yorkshire as 'Meadowhall Manchester'. So in the mean time I am left to defend for myself for the time being and dwell and the day past. My new job concerns 'actioning new' and I am in a department in an office building with teams with elaborate names, ours is something to do with smoke and mirrors. It's all more exciting sounding then it actually is, and all in all the job consists of pressing enter a lot and telling students that they have terrible terrible credit ratings.

We all have terrible terrible credit ratings though. Credit is the biggest farce since Rice Crispies being advertised as exciting.

I have been calling a few unemployed people this week asking how they are getting their money, it's quite interesting really because they want the accounts so they act really serious like they're speaking to someone who knows what he's doing. And all these letters have my name on them, I've never wrote these letter, I do not know what they say. I assume that's why they call it smoke and mirrors though, it's all a show, you expect an elaborate bank office where people in suits have machines that pack letters for them, but no, in reality you have me. God help you.

So this week I have mainly been bitching about Magic Buses for the hundreth time, it's just three times so far have they shut the doors and driven away when I ran to it. So fuck it, next time I see a magic bus I'll bottle the twat. If that even works.

Here is a picture of a house in Hull



Good day sir. And remember this; A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

And now I shall go before I rip off Mark Twain some more.

Dougal XxxxxX