Ghost in a wishing well

Good evening

I've spent many days now watching the magpies and squirrels raid our bins from the park we back onto. Those little things to do, watch as the tiny creatures tag team the bags, a crowd of magpies and a straggle of squirrels sit on the wheelie bins rim as one jumps down into the arena and wrestle the bin bag into an inch of it's life. Apparently the current champion is a fox who waltzes down ever so ofter.

I'm starting a betting racket on it.

So yes tonight I have mainly drunk while watching The Usual Suspects. There is no pun meant there I can assure, I have never seen the film before and guessed the ending. To do this I used a particular philosophy I hold when it comes to mysteries and crime dramas. Every film can be reduced to Scooby Doo, in the most basic of sense. Let me be Frank.

Never mind. It is called Scooby Doo Logic

In Scooby Doo we are bombarded with numerous characters which are not the usual 5 or 6 if you want to include that little fuck Scrappy Doo. With these characters you know you already know who the culprit is, and besides it's no fun if the person responsibly is someone external and not introduced to or else a twist is pointless. You might as well have Simon Weston being responsible for everything, I'm not sure why but it's true. Motive should be found along the way, usually by Thelma because she's the least sexual attractive of her and Daphne and therefore most intelligent. Oh Daphne. Maybe Thelma's just a late bloomer. Where was I?


Yes! That was it, in Scooby Doo logic there is usually a mean character, like in most crime drama. It is usually never them, this is the ringer, someone who has been thrown to you to make you think it's them because of their attitude when in fact it's the friendly gardener who knew about some gold buried under the building site where he's been dressing up as a ghost to scare people away from. Bastard kids, but Daphne can be forgiven. It's not her fault.

So I conclude with a question; Daphne or Wilma?

Life is terrible. But jager is not.

Love Dougal

XxxxxX